Tuesday Slay Day: 3 Uncomfortable Choices I've Made In The Past Two Days That Were Made In The Spirit Of Slayin

Slayin' Ain't Easy But It's Necessary.

Slayin' Ain't Easy But It's Necessary.

I've been thinking a lot about choices and it's become really clear to me that a series of seemingly inconsequential micro-choices have gotten me on a path that I can actually sit back, look at and say, "okay, yeah, I'm doing alright". The big choices - find a partner who supports you, take care of yourself, continue your education, etc. - are all supported by smaller choices that are easy to go one way or another on. So I thought I would share three decisions that I've made in the past three days that make me feel worthy of the I Slay mug that I'm sure I'll buy any day now.

1.      Meeting With A Client On A Sunday

My micro-decisions have put me on a path that lead me to a job that I absolutely love. I've been with the team more or less for about three months and I've had the pleasure of working with some truly imaginative people with huge hearts. So when one came into town for a convention that my company invited our clients out to - but found out I wouldn't be attending - he asked if we could meet for breakfast. On a Sunday. At 8. 

If you know anything about me, it's that even though I love my job I really love not setting my alarm on the weekends. I've always been wired that way. As I fell asleep on Saturday night, zero wine in my belly, I started running through all the possible rationalizations for not going in the morning. Immediately recognizing each rationalization out of alignment with the person that I must be to design the life that I desire, I drifted to sleep, got up when my alarm went off, and met the client.

It was delightful and strengthened my relationship with him. It gave me an opportunity to stand out from the crowd of people who wouldn't normally do that and he gave me some advice about the life I'm trying to design. Hint: he thinks I'm on the right path.

The sacrifice of sleep was well worth the social and professional currency that was exchanged. If I had taken the path of least resistance and pressed the snooze button, I would have literally been sleeping on a major opportunity.

2.     Let Someone Know In Real Time That What They Did Upset Me - In Real Time.

This one is huge for me, fam. Usually when someone upsets me, I become confused, decide to take some time to "process" it (ie, let the resentment build into a toxic cloud for about six months) then drop a little Erin bomb on the unsuspecting victim who never sees it coming. In the meantime, the mental illnesses that I'm predisposed to, anxiety and depression, take over my life and literally make me sick. All so I can process and be polite. 

Yesterday, someone upset me. I stated the what, how and why very clearly right after they did so. It was not easy for me in the moment, and it wasn't easy for the perpetrator to hear my feedback in the moment. The end result was that I received an apology, and that shit is out of my system. I don't have to go to therapy over this one and I actually saw how expressing my anger in the moment actually cleared space for more authentic and deeper love. That's because the people who are meant to be in my life will love me and respect me enough to listen to me when I'm upset and correct the behavior to ensure that I have a positive experience of a relationship that is worth my time and energy knowing that I'd be fine on my own. Same goes for you. 

3.     Write This Blog Post.

Why would this be a difficult decision? I love writing, this blog is completely elective and it's fun, correct? If you are reading this and you are an artist, an entrepreneur, a visionary or any other human that is operating on that level that you can only operate on if you have that thing inside of you, you know that the same thing that drives you is also your biggest tormentor. It's the thing that you have to scrape from the bottom of your energetic resources when you are putting in time elsewhere to pay the bills. And if you don't do it, you'll hate yourself. And sometimes, all of the time, it's not perfect. And sometimes you show it to the world and you're so overcome with panic that you're now being seen that you can hardly stand it. 

That being said, I started this blog with gusto, posting every day for about six days. And then *shocker* life got busy. I lost sight of my commitment to my creative endeavor. Then I went on a  trip to Joshua Tree and I was reinvigorated after tapping back into my creative roots and got another wind. Tonight, I didn't want to keep it going, I wanted to sit on the couch and watch Shark Tank for five hours straight. I already know, though, that I love what I'm building here and that it would be more painful for me to not put this idea into the world than not to. 

What micro-choices can you look back on and see now how they've supported your macro dreams, visions and goals? Let the community know in the comments! We're all here to grow.